Horcrux Harry
by dracoredeemed
Summary: Voldemort is dead, but Harry is still a Horcrux. Draco has a plan he thinks Harry will like. Sequel to Turn Me On, so it will make more sense if you read that one first. H/D. Pure Crack.


Horcrux Harry (Sequel to 'Turn Me On') 

"Now, Harry, we've got a slight problem." Draco sighed as he pulled back from his darling boyfriend and shifted slightly so he could look him in the face.

"What problem?" Harry leaned forward to kiss Draco again, but Draco pushed him away, trying to get his attention.

"Harry, no! I've got to tell you this."

Harry snaked his arms around Draco's waist and pulled him closer, leaning in to nip at his earlobe. But Draco was having none of it.

"Listen to me, Harry!" He almost stomped his foot in his attempt to get Harry's attention, eventually resigning to whining loudly, "Come on, Harry. It's important!" Harry stopped molesting Draco's neck at that and stepped back in surprise.

"Now. I've been to see Dumbledore's portrait. That's how I found out that old coot had sent you off to deliver yourself to old Moldy-mort here, by the way. I tell you, if the old bugger wasn't already snuffed, I'd have a good mind to take care of it myself," Draco huffed and furrowed his brows at the thought.

"Er, Draco? The, er, problem?" Harry prompted him patiently.

Draco blinked several times and then came back to himself. "What? Oh…. Oh, right! Now, the problem is that apparently you, sweetie, are the last Horcrux. Now, don't look at me like that! Dumbleduds said you were supposed to battle Moldy and that when he tried to off you, it would release the last bit of his soul from you. So, now… we, er… well, anyway, we have to get rid of it so he can't come back."

"Oh, God, Draco! I forgot that part! I forgot I was a Horcrux! You should have just let me do it!" Harry groaned as he dropped his head into his hands in silent defeat.

"What? And let him curse you? I don't think so, my little honey-bunny." Draco crossed his arms and started tapping his feet angrily at the thought. "That old fart didn't know what the bloody hell he was talking about. What if you'd been actually killed, for God's sake?"

"But that's the way it was supposed to happen! Now we've gone and messed it up." Harry leaned against the tree and slowly slid down it until he lay in a sullen heap amongst its roots.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Cut the amateur dramatics, Potter. It's not as bad as you think." Reaching down, he grabbed Harry's arm and yanked at it until the other boy finally got back up to his feet. Draco carefully dusted Harry off, making sure there were no leaves sticking to his robes, before continuing. "There, I think that's got it all. No, wait, there's another leaf." He reached around Harry's back and plucked a stray dead leaf from the fabric, dropping it to the ground in disgust. Rubbing his hands against each other to get rid of any remaining bits of leaf and dirt, he finally looked back into Harry's face and leaned back against the car.

"So, there's another way to get rid of Moldy's soul-bit." He crossed his arms and smirked at Harry. "And I actually think you're going to like it."

Harry's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What? No Dark, painful rituals? No blood-letting? No morphing into creatures heretofore unknown?"

Draco rolled his eyes again at that. "God, you're such a bloody drama queen, Harry. Anyone would think you fought this whole bloody war yourself!" Harry opened his mouth to retort, but Draco cut him off. "_As I was saying_, our librarian, Cheryl—lovely girl, but has some strange idea your soul is Dark—" Draco mused on that for a moment, brows furrowed, before remembering where he was. "Oh, anyway, as I was saying, Cheryl says that Dark Magic is frightfully literal, and that you just have to work out how to literally apply the basis of a piece of magic for it to work."

Harry was eyeing him with an incredulous look. "Literal, right."

Draco put his hands on his hips in frustration. "Don't you 'right' me, Harry. Just pay attention. Now, making a Horcrux is like whoring your soul out—you get it? _Hor-_crux, Harry? _Hor _as in whore and _crux _as in soul?" Harry snorted then and Draco looked at him witheringly, before continuing. "All we have to do is de-whore you, and you're rid of Moldy's old bit of soul forever!" He crossed his arms again triumphantly as he waited for Harry's reaction.

"And just how does one get 'de-whored'?" Harry cocked his head in amusement.

"Oh, go on, laugh all you want, smarty-pants. You'll be laughing on the other side of your face if we don't get this right." Draco sniffed and looked down his nose at Harry, who finally relented and stepped forward to put his arms around Draco's waist.

"Get what right, love?" Harry asked softly.

Draco dropped to one knee then and pulled a small black box out of his pocket. Clearing his throat, he looked up at Harry, his face deadly serious. "Ahem. Harry?"

Harry's breath caught in his throat. "Yes?" he replied almost inaudibly as he held his breath.

"I want to always be yours and you to be mine." Draco handed Harry the box and waited.

Harry sighed and stared into Draco's eyes for a long moment before turning back to look at the box. Slowly he opened the lid to see a glistening, diamond-encrusted, platinum band. Lifting it gently out of the box, Harry held it up to the light and read the inscription. "Harry and Draco in love forever. Oh, Draco, it's gorgeous!" He turned it over then, frowning slightly. "But it's a bit big, love." The ring was twice the size of a normal wedding band, even for a large finger.

"That's because it doesn't go on your finger." Draco smirked as he took the ring from Harry before quickly unzipping Harry's pants. "_Whore_-crux, remember? It's sex magic, you silly button." Harry jumped in surprise when Draco pulled the elastic of his boxers down, allowing his cock to pop out enthusiastically. (He was, after all, just seventeen. The simple act of unzipping his pants was enough to give him a rock-hard boner.) Draco grabbed the bobbing shaft and gave it a few appreciative strokes before slipping the ring over the head and positioning it at its base, where it glowed and sparked.

Harry suddenly felt hot all over, as if his blood were percolating around his veins and pumping straight to his groin. Draco continued to stroke as the ring glowed brighter and brighter, and Harry became engulfed in a blinding aura of light. Leaning forward slightly, Draco gently kissed the leaking slit before taking the whole head in his mouth. Harry screamed and came immediately (sex-starved teen, remember?) in pulsing spasms down Draco's throat, his back arching as sparks of light flew out of his chest and disappeared into the sky like lightening bugs.

Eventually spent, Harry sagged back against the tree, panting, but completely sated. "_Fuck me_!" he moaned. "Am I de-whored yet?"

"You sure are! Your soul is mine, now, baby. And so is your arse!" Draco stood up and pulled Harry to him, kissing him soundly on the lips. "Now get your sweet arse in the car, the next round is on you!"


End file.
